I’m not sure if I’ll even make it let alone do this blog!
I’ve not been sleeping much as I don’t have a home. I sleep in a car …a small one at that … and some nights I can not fall asleep. So I’m struggling with survival so much that I’ve nearly no hope! I keep telling myself, there has to be one person in OC who has a great heart like me and is willing to let me help him for a safe, beautiful place to live. Yet, I’ve spoken to literally over 1,000 men over the past year who’ve said they will help me. But it turns out they will only help if I give them sex or if they believe I’m not homeless, or if I looked better! Stress makes one look one’s worse. I’ve had way too much stress for sooooo long that I live in fight or flight mode which is terribly unhealthy.
I keep asking God to show me a way. But I keep hearing I need to find someone willing to be a channel for God. It’s each person’s choice. I do see, however, that I’ve put another wall of anger around me and don’t know how to shake it. I’m so angry that I can’t find a good person to assist in some way other than sex! I won’t sell myself short. I can’t compromise. I know I’d rather die than let someone take advantage of me!
And I’m the further thing from a prude. I love being in a relationship and love cuddling, spooning, making a meal together, taking walks hand in hand, watching the stars while I sit on his lap….you get the picture. I’m a true romantic!
I anyone reading this would like to save a human life. I’m ready to be saved. You may have a guesthouse, you may pay for a week at Extended Stay America so I may use my gas money for fruit and veges to eat and make with my Blendtec, or you may give me a car (I lease this one!). IF you are so inclined to help, please email me at email@example.com your name & cell or home or work and let me know what it is and hours to call you. I’m so afraid of people lying to me that I’ve closed down. But after a few nights sleep, I’ll be that calm, relaxed, capable person again! Or maybe it will take 3 weeks to sleep to become that relaxed person.
Do you choose to be a vehicle for God? I’ll receive anytime! I’ll also give if you have a big house and want company or one of my expert abilities.
May the blessings be…..