An epiphany!

Not sure how this happened or even IF I can describe it clearly…. but here goes!

I’ve been living an extremely stressful life for a year or 3 …. lol… but true! And I keep doing my utmost to look at what I need to do each do to make my life better, and the most part of my days has been on simple survival issues…. shelter, food, payments for a car, cleaning, eating, creating something new, exercising to improve not just my body, but my emotional stability and to keep faith that all is able to improve. I must be the channel for the change. I must keep seeing my vision of my life as a beautiful yet simple life filled with laughter and friends and family. I must be the instrument that God uses to change my life. There is NO OTHER!

Well, I now am clear that I can make a fresh start again….even tho’ I’ve been doing this every single day and NEARLY every single hour and nearly every single moment to keep going forward. It doesn’t look like I’m going forward if one knew my circumstances and the many negative responses I get when I’m out there being creative in my online ads or my ideas of how to help others as if I help others, that will help me. I’ve looked for house sitter position, cook positions and even housekeeper positions. I even decided to keep a lonely man or woman company for dining and/or cultural arts or for walks, etc…not caregiving, but for companionship. No one answered the ads seriously.  Can’t find anyone who is interested in the best and is ethical enough not to request sex! We all want divine love, but random sex with strangers is not the answer!

What happened in CA!?!?! Why are the men here so awfully, nasty and rude? Most have tried to manipulate and take advantage of me when I share any vulnerability!

Be careful…live by your own standards and remember….you are the chooser of your life choices! Never, ever must one give that up. I don’t believe “beggars can not be choosers”!